Tag Archives: Shisan: My Aching Back

My Aching Back: Lyndon Norton Remix

It’s time for one last remix of My Aching Back… and with this post comes the news that the original poem will be published in Kokako, a fine journal of Japanese forms published in New Zealand. It’s wonderful to see this poem reaching a wide audience. So now, it’s over to Lyndon to give it one last spin…

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My Aching Back: Lyndon Norton Remix

Side 1 – jo – preface

Link #1 (3 lines) – hokku (autumn)

my aching back
a leaf falls
from a branch

(Matt Hetherington)

Link #2 (2 lines) – wakiku (autumn)

as I put down the rake
the sky darkens

(Lyndon Norton)

Link #3 (3 lines) – daisan (non seasonal)

cold night
our words
left hanging

(Cindy Keong)

Side 2 – ha part one – development

Link #4 (2 lines) – winter  moon

stuck up a tree
winter moon

(Andy Smerdon)

Link #5 (3 lines) – non seasonal

not even the radio
tonight
a bus passes

(Jonathan Hadwen)

Link #6 (2 lines) – non seasonal

the old dog dreams
of the chase

(Mal Keeble)

Side 3 – ha part two – intensification

Link #7 (3 lines) – spring blossom

along the edge
of her grave
a row of daffodils

(Cindy Keong)

Link #8 (2 lines) – spring

shadows shrink
sun cannot warm the air

(John Wainwright)

Link #9 (3 lines) – non seasonal

behind teeth
a storm gathers
I cannot swallow this

(Nigel Ellis)

Side 4 – kyu – finale

Link #10 (2 lines)- non seasonal, love verse

all that remains
broken on the shoreline

(Cindy Keong)

Link #11 (3 lines) – non seasonal, love verse

incoming tide
waiting for
the next wave

(Cindy Keong)

Link #12 (2 lines) – ageku (summer)

nothing matters
after sunset

(Carly Jay Metcalfe)

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My Aching Back: Chris Lynch Remix

Time for another remix of the epic, My Aching Back. This time, Chris Lynch leaves his fingerprint on the poem.

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My Aching Back

Started: 15 May 2013 – Finished: 8 June 2013
Written between: Matt Hetherington, Lyndon Norton, Ashley Capes, Lee-Anne Davie, Chris Lynch, John Wainwright, Cindy Keong, Simon Kindt, Andrew Phillips, Chloë Callistemon, and Carly-Jay Metcalfe

my aching back
a leaf falls
from a branch

(Matt Hetherington)

as I put down the rake
the sky darkens

(Lyndon Norton)

in the shed
removing a dropcloth
from old paintings

(Ashley Capes)

gravy smears the dinner plate
winter moon

(Lee-Anne Davie)

I regret
the light switch
cockroaches

(Chris Lynch)

deep breathing
in a library of ladders

(John Wainwright)

along the edge
of her grave
a row of daffodils

(Cindy Keong)

roots slide in deep
an earthy spinal tap

(Simon Kindt)

aaaahhhh
a receding tide
scurries across the mud flat

(Andrew Phillips)

your bite
wrapped in my scarf

(Chloë Callistemon)

morning in bed
between us the glow
of smartphones

(Lyndon Norton)

nothing matters
after sunset

(Carly-Jay Metcalfe)

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My Aching Back: Mal Keeble Remix

It’s time to start posting the remixes of My Aching Back. Reading each one has deepened my love of the process and of the work it inspired. So let’s kick things off with the Mal Keeble remix, along with a few notes about his process…

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To keep the learning process going I have taken a running leap at the shisan remix. I decided to keep the first three links as to break them up would have been an injustice to the words and the poets.  The remix proved to be more difficult than I thought…  Each of the poems appears as they were originally submitted, except for Miguel’s which I have edited slightly.

My Aching Back
Written between:
Matt Hetherington, Lyndon Norton, Ashley Capes, Lee-Anne Davie, Chris Lynch, John Wainwright, Andrew Phillips, Miguel, Andy Smerdon, Cindy Keong

Side 1 – jo – preface

Link #1 (3 lines) – hokku (autumn)

my aching back
a leaf falls
from a branch

(Matt Hetherington)

Link #2 (2 lines) – wakiku (autumn)

as I put down the rake
the sky darkens

(Lyndon Norton)

Link #3 (3 lines) – daisan (non seasonal)

in the shed
removing a dropcloth
from old paintings

(Ashley Capes)

Side 2 – ha part one – development

Link #4 (2 lines) – winter  moon

stuck up a tree
winter moon

(Andy Smerdon)

Link #5 (3 lines) – non seasonal

behind the frame
no view
of the picture

(Lee-Anne Davie)

Link #6 (2 lines) – non seasonal

deep breathing
in a library of ladders

(John Wainwright)

Side 3 – ha part two – intensification

Link #7 (3 lines) – spring blossom

along the edge
of her grave
a row of daffodils

(Cindy Keong)

Link #8 (2 lines) – spring

startled by my head
beside the swamp lily

(Andrew Phillips)

Link #9 (3 lines) – non seasonal

recalling
the head on collision
first kiss

(Cindy Keong)

Side 4 – kyu – finale

Link #10 (2 lines)- non seasonal, love verse

exhaling your name
my steam-powered heart

(Miguel)

Link #11 (3 lines) – non seasonal, love verse

the river at high tide…
the distance between us
growing

(Lyndon Norton)

Link #12 (2 lines) ageku (summer)

it’s decided then:
last round’s on me

(Chris Lynch)

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