Shisan: My Aching Back (Links #7 – #8)

As we move into a more intense phase in the poem, it has been wonderful to immerse myself in the rush of poems that came for link #7. Spring blossom may not seem the most intense subject, but there are many poems on offer here that give the senses a damn good slap!

Through the lens of these poems we see a naked sailor holding out an olive branch, a spring tryst, daffodil lined graves and the cocked leg of a puppy. In some of the poems the extreme contrast is what makes it sing – the crow’s dark voice against the shock of purple Jacaranda blossoms; in others it is the playful comparison – fairy floss crystals and cherry blossoms, galah’s feet and spring rain on a tin roof. The diversity on offer is what gives the poem its energy, so again, thank you for your words.

Now, which way did I leap…

For its sheer exuberance, off-kilter humour, and close linkage, I couldn’t resist Chloe’s ‘pissing puppy’. I have however, made one slight edit to the formatting, moving the word pisses to the middle line. For me, this strengthens the movement of the poem.

And with that, the call is open for link #8 – 2 lines, spring. With this link, we want the intensification of the poem to continue and the leap to be a little bolder. Subjects to be avoided in this verse, as they are already represented in the poem are:

darkness
trees / leaves
moon
animals (we have now had cockroaches and dogs, so it would have to be something wildly original)
flowers / blossoms

Look forward to seeing where you take the poem next.

*****

My Aching Back: Shisan
Started: 15 May 2013 – Finished:
Written between: Matt Hetherington, Lyndon Norton, Ashley Capes, Lee-Anne Davie, Chris Lynch, Mal Keeble

Side 1jo – preface

Link #1 (3 lines) – hokku (autumn)

my aching back
a leaf falls
from a branch

(Matt Hetherington)

Link #2 (2 lines) – wakiku (autumn)

as I put down the rake
the sky darkens

(Lyndon Norton)

Link #3 (3 lines) – daisan (non seasonal)

in the shed
removing a dropcloth
from old paintings

(Ashley Capes)

Side 2ha part one – development

Link #4 (2 lines) – winter  moon

gravy smears the dinner plate
winter moon

(Lee-Anne Davie)

Link #5 (3 lines) – non seasonal

I regret
the light switch
cockroaches

(Chris Lynch)

Link #6 (2 lines) – non seasonal

the old dog dreams
of the chase

(Mal Keeble)

Side 3ha part two – intensification

Link #7 (3 lines) – spring blossom

the puppy
pisses on all
the daffodils

(Chloe Callistemon)

Link #8 (2 lines) – spring
Link #9 (3 lines) – non seasonal

Side 4kyu – finale

Link #10 (2 lines)- non seasonal, love verse
Link #11 (3 lines) – non seasonal, love verse
Link #12 (2 lines) – ageku (summer)

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13 Comments

Filed under poetry

13 responses to “Shisan: My Aching Back (Links #7 – #8)

  1. Simon Kindt

    #8

    roots slide in deep
    an earthy spinal tap

  2. # 8
    creeping across the lawn
    morning fog

  3. Jonathan

    going to be greedy and leave two

    1
    not a cartoon
    ducklings cross the road

    (i know – animals!)

    2
    I wipe my forehead –
    rain drops or sweat?

  4. fixing the leaking roof
    her waters break

  5. #8
    shadows shrink
    sun cannot warm the air

    #8
    day by day the sun
    rises higher

  6. Only because I can’t seem to restrain myself.

    #8

    only you
    don’t sing at the wake

  7. #8
    soiled
    the baby cries

  8. #8
    squat or leg up
    spring

    #8
    spring shower
    yolk burst on the tongue

  9. #8
    startled by my head
    beside the swamp lily

  10. Pingback: Shisan: My Aching Back (post 1500 on Another Lost Shark) | Another Lost Shark

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