Responses to Link #3:
It was wonderful to see new voices in the mix for link #3, so let me first up thank John and Phillip for their continued support and Vuong, Andy and Chloe for joining the Junicho. I hope that you revisit the poem throughout its composition and leave many more suggested links.
The quality of the writing offered made this another difficult selection and had my head buzzing with many of my own favourite films…
Phillip conjured the fevered majesty of The Last Year at Marienbad (a film I wholeheartedly recommend) and left us with the image of a silent bellbird; Chloe conjured the wickedly lush final scenes of The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover as well as the devastating whir of Apocalypse Now (or at least that is what I am guessing); Vuong took me back to my youth when I would frequent cinemas like The Boomerang, where the seats were made from hessian bags draped over a steel frame… am not sure there were geckos back then, but it gave me that feeling; both of John’s links dance with the elegance of Gene Kelly; and Andy’s link has such a wonderful juxtaposition between the implied urgency of the opening line and the inherent slowness of the snail moving toward freedom. All would take the Junicho somewhere wonderful and provide solid ground for a leap into link #4… but it is time to choose.
For link #3, I have gone with the ominous sound of Chloe’s ‘fan rotors beat’, which means the call is now open for link #4 – 2 lines with a focus on a natural image sketched from life. I look forward to seeing where to next for Between Thistles and remember, if you know someone who would love to be involved, give them a nudge.
As always, over to you…
*****
Between Thistles: A New Junicho
Started: 12 April 2013 – Finished: Written between: Ashley Capes, Simon Kindt, Chloe Callistemon,
Link #1 (3 lines) – hokku / shasei
between thistles
the crane’s
Egyptian walk
Link #2 (2 lines) – waki / cultural (literature)
the noose of a circling skein
called down by Carver’s barreled goose
(Simon Kindt)
Link #3 (3 lines) – daisan / cultural (film)
fan rotors beat
The End
to the smell of napalm
(Chloe Callistemon)
Link #4 (2 lines) – verse / shasei
Link #5 (3 lines) – verse / shasei
Link #6 (2 lines) – verse / cultural (art)
Link #7 (3 lines) – verse / cultural (religion)
Link #8 (2 lines) – verse / gendai
Link #9 (3 lines) – verse / gendai
Link #10 (2 lines) – verse / cultural (politics)
Link #11 (3 lines) – verse / cultural (music)
Link #12 (2 lines) – ageku / shasei
* shasei – sketched from life – lived experience, observational, uncontrived.
* gendai – modernist – atypical structure, tone or content.
*****
Responses to Link #2:
First of all let me thank John, Andrew, Simon and Phillip for leaving their suggested links; each of them a worthy candidate that would take the poem in a unique direction.
John’s bristles with energy. The opening exclamation ‘Out!’seems to shoo the crane the from the image, leaving the dog to bring the river home, and into this poem – which in a way, gives the crane in the hokku its own distinct home and provides a wonderful link and leap.
In Andrew’s poem there is quiet and disquiet… after reading this many times, I can hear the basket and its bundled passenger, in hushed communication with the river, while the ‘she’ stands in hollow silence. It is both haunting and comforting.
Simon… that opening line – the noose of a circling skein. This, like John’s link, has an incredible energy. And a noose of geese is such a unique image. The use of the word noose in the first line is what really makes this poem. It not only has the effect of trapping the skein; it also damns the barreled goose as it looks on from its desperate confinement.
And Phillip, the action of the rabbit’s down tugging in thistles is brilliant. This inversion of what we traditionally see / experience (i.e. thistles doing their own grabbing) is what makes this poem so vivid.
So to choose just one… well for link #2, I have decided to go with Simon’s ‘barreled goose’. I have now entered it in the Junicho and in doing so am opening the call for link #3 – 3 lines, with a reference to film. This should be exciting… and remember, don’t be shy, this is open to everyone, so feel free to spread the word!
Once again, it’s over to you!
*****
And so it begins… Ashley has delivered a stunning poem (the hokku) to get things moving, so now the call is open for link #2 – 2 lines with a reference to literature.
As I said in the previous post, I will allow roughly 36 hours for people to respond before selecting one of the submitted links.
Please remember when you leave a comment, to write the number of the link you are writing (e.g. link #2) and please, spread the word… I am hopeful that there will be many voices that chime in over the course of this poem.
Over to you…
link #2
Out! Damn dog
brought the bloody river home!
Thanks JdUb! A great link to keep things moving. Really looking forward to seeing this poem take shape.
I agree, great link! Looking forward to it too
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Love that you’re doing this Graham! It’s such an exciting twist to the form. I’m looking forward to all the voices, links and leaps. Great hokku Ash and link JdUb. Here’s another for link #2:
she hushes the bundle
in a river basket
I like 🙂
Was a a Carver bender last week…. Link #2
The noose of a circling skein
called down by Carver’s barreled goose.
Link #2
a rabbit’s down tugs in thistles
winds on Watership Down
Link #3:
in the last year
at Marienbad
no bellbirds rang
looking forward to see how this develops
would love to have you contribute Claudia… your voice would be a welcome addition to the Junicho!
link # 3
in dreams in which I’m dying
rifle bird and I
dance so slowly
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link #3
fan rotors beat
The End
to the smell of napalm
And, because I’m film obsessed and this was actually my first thought (just, I thought, too morbid for a #3):
Gambon with a fork
of Mirren’s lover
light spools a feast
The first entry is sweet as, Chloe….
Link #3
on a razors edge
the snail
seeks freedom
Link #3
a gecko
makes the theatre
more Australian
when I told the music
I could move no more
Gene Kelly and Cyd Charisse
Link # free
Link #4
his ashes
close to the road that ran through his life
Link #4
recycling at 2:30am
moonlight on bitumen
Link #4:
summer showers
fan the Gold Coast
*****
This is, Graham, one of my Australian couplets (12 syllables or less, 1 image) in case you wanted to know.
Enjoying these leaps. Have to offer something I’m not completely happy with. Maybe ‘Do better!’ hey G? Ha!
#4
I fall out of a dream
into tin thunder sweat